


before the fall

by milahtalas



Category: Noli Me Tangere & Related Works - José Rizal
Genre: Gen, Implied Basilio/Juli, Religious Themes, Suicide, Victim-blaming, im still sad abt her, implied rape, padre camorra retire bitch, when will i not be
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-27
Updated: 2018-03-27
Packaged: 2019-04-13 13:45:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 316
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14113632
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/milahtalas/pseuds/milahtalas
Summary: The hopelessness that she felt before is nothing compared to what she feels now.Truly, God has forsaken me.





	before the fall

“I’m just so tired. Take me home.”

 

The words spoke to no one in particular. There’s a ringing in her ears as she lay down on the convent floor, taking in the events of the last few minutes. 

 

Where _was_ home, Juliana? Did it lie in your house in Tiani? Did in lie in Hermana Penchang’s home? Did it lie in the old wood your father fought for? Or was home a person, a feeling? 

 

Juliana breathed in dry air, dragging another harsh breath through her lips. No one would want her like this — deflowered, impure. She deserves no home. Her mind wanders back and forth from what she did wrong; what would have pushed God to forsake her. Not even Basilio, sweet, loving Basilio, would want her like this, he wouldn’t continue loving her for what’s been done. 

 

If she felt hopelessness before, those former moments felt nothing compared to the present. 

 

This was all her fault. She knew there was something off in the way Father Camorra looked at her, the way he seemed eager to help, the way his price seemed to be getting worse and worse—

 

_But this is what God intends for you, Juliana. It is what you deserve. What you must go through._

 

Juliana had once asked Sister Bali if all suicides went to hell. “Absolutely,” she says. She describes the place as if she’s been there herself. 

 

Perhaps she’d meet God at the other side. Perhaps he’ll take pity on her.

 

Death dances just in reach, in the form of an open window. Her hands grasp at its sides and the cold wind bites her skin. For a few seconds she dreams of another world where everything is right and just, where life is worth living and she doesn’t feel that the people in power are choking her very being.

 

There would be no funeral for Juliana de Dios.

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> padre camorra retire bitch intensifies
> 
> tumblr: jediikiller.tumblr.com  
> twitter: @mariinhonda


End file.
